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A Divided House"What if my spouse (or other family members) are not totally supportive of how I want to raise support; how do I handle this?" These questions are tough ones, with no "cut & paste" answers since every home, marriage, and situation is different. Having said that, there are some guiding principles that can help navigate these dangerous waters. #1. Always be totally honest. Lies or deception about your work or support raising efforts will not help. (Ex: Telling your spouse you are going out with friends when it really is a meeting regarding fundraising.) #2. Work your business "smart." If your loved one(s) are extremely negative about your "tent making," try to work your business in such a way that it will not impact their lives. (Ex: Set up a desk in your bedroom instead of the TV room.) #3. Set goals and deadlines, and share them with your loved ones. When they see you are taking your business to raise funds seriously and are willing to be accountable, they may become more supportive. Ex: When my first company started to head south and my income dropped a few years back, my wife wanted me to go out and get a "real job." It was a stressful time for both of us. With the help of some godly counselors (who were mostly on her side) I set some goals and promised her I would seek a job outside of network marketing if my goals were not being met. yes - I made my goals - and now we are both happy I did! #4. Reward them. Be creative in bringing them into your support raising efforts. This works especially well with children when you ALL share a reward when you achieve a certain goal, or get a specific bonus. Let them be a part. (Ex: You will take the family to see the grandparents when your support reaches a certain level.) #5. Follow your heart. You probably noticed this advice applies to men or women. I am not of the opinion that a spouse has to blindly "obey" their partner. The overall scriptural exhortation in marriage is to be submissive to one another. (If you are the wife of a controlling husband with a religious spirit - you are in a difficult place; BUT you should no more forsake the calling on your life than you should obey him if he wanted you to cheat on your taxes or lie to your parents. Make sure you are called to what you are doing, and pray hard for wisdom.) #6. Retreat is not giving up. Sometimes a retreat is the only logical step to preserve a potential win in a war. Battles can be lost, with the war still winnable. You may need to take a season to scale back your tent making, or let it go completely for a season. Don't toss in the towel though - set up some agreed upon parameters of what needs to happen in the family for you to pick back up or full steam ahead again in the future. #7. Seek the Lord. The Bible is very clear that we as Jesus' disciples can hear the voice of the Lord. When you get clear direction from Him, it will come with the grace, wisdom, and love to see you through, and provide the confidence and posture needed to stand strong. Deception and forcing yourself on your spouse or family is never the answer, either at the start or at any season in your business. If you find your strife in your house over your tent making business in this season, ask the Lord to examine YOUR heart, and how you can work your business and communicate with your family in more effective and loving way. Seek godly counsel. Pray hard. God can and does change hearts - I've had it happen in my marriage, and have helped others see it through with theirs.
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